Rating: NC-17
Nick and Lilly were walking through the woods. It was one of those days that you read about in people’s dreams; the sun was shining, there was a light breeze, it was a perfect 72 degrees (Fahrenheit), and the couple was walking along holding hands. Occasionally, Nick would stop them, turn to face Lilly, and kiss her. They would stay like that for about a minute, and then continue walking.
They passed squirrels, rabbits, deer, and plenty of birds. Despite all the cute little animals, the one thing that made them stray from their path was a large tree.
“Why are you so fascinated by a tree?” Lilly asked as Nick led her off the path to the tree.
“Because, this tree is different,” he said as they reached it. “You see, if someone were to, oh, let’s say stand behind it,” he hopped behind the tree. “No one can see you!”
“Ok…” she said, obviously not getting his point.
“Now, let’s say there were two people. One was standing, and one was, well, sort-of standing,” he said raising his eyebrows. Lilly got what he was saying finally, and she walked over to him, putting her arms around his neck. They made out for a while before Nick pulled her behind the tree. He continued to kiss her, this time letting his hand creep up her chest. When he got a hold of her, she reached down and unbuttoned his pants. They slid around his ankles as he took off hers. She propped herself up between Nick and the tree, and Nick situated himself.
Thirty minutes later, they were still behind the tree, but they were sitting down, leaning against it, pants in the proper positions, with Lilly on Nick’s lap. They smiled at each other and he kissed her again. He then got up quickly, and ran to the other side of the tree. There, he took out his pocket knife and began hacking into the tree. Lilly sat there watching him for a few minutes. When he stepped back to admire his handy work, she got up to see what he did. They two of them smiled, admiring the words “Nick and Lilly” carved into the tree, inside of a heart.
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Tree Hugger
Rainy Day Hopes and Dreams
Rating: PG
Nick had always wanted to be kissed in the rain. Call it a girlish fantasy, but it was his fantasy none the less. He was standing at the door to Lilly’s apartment trying to fill the awkward silence with compliments, getting wetter and wetter by the second.
“I had fun tonight.”
“Me too,” she said shifting her feet.
“You looked really pretty,” he quickly said.
“Thanks.” There was more awkward silence. The two of them were getting pretty wet.
“Your hair looked nice too,” he said looking at what it used to be.
“Yeah, well it’s all wet now. You know, since we ran out of money for the cab.”
“I said I’m sorry for that,” he said looking into her eyes.
“I know, I’m sorry I snapped.” He continued to look into her eyes, but this time he moved in a little closer to her.
“I can’t ask you to come upstairs, you know that.”
“Yeah, I know.” He said finally breaking his gaze to look sadly at the ground.
“So, since we’re getting pretty wet, we should say good night now.”
“Yeah, good night,” he said and leaned in to kiss her good night. However, she had already opened her door and slipped inside. Her head was still poking out of the doorway, and she said a final good night before closing her door,
“I’ll call you!” he called back through the door and, when he got no response, he started trudging his way home. He may have not fulfilled his fantasy of being kissed in the rain, but he remained optimistic. He knew he would fins another girl and he definitely knew that it would rain again. After all, it was England.
Eau D'Amour
Rating: PG
I didn’t see you walking backwards with her hands filled with shoe boxes. This might have been because I was also walking backwards, except that I was carrying a blender. Only in Target could something like this happen. Needless to say, we collided. Hard. We both lost our balance and landed on the floor, but not before knocking over a display of Halston perfume. We became covered in the eau de toilette, as did our purchases. I looked over at you, sprawled out on the floor, surrounded by boxes of shoes, your name-tag askew on your perfume-dripped uniform. You looked at me, hair wet with perfume, blender smashed a few feet away in its crushed box.
We both apologized profusely, claiming distraction and our own faults. I helped you up, trying not to slip in the puddles of perfume. The air smelt very heavily of this aforementioned substance, and the management was quick to run over.
They yelled at you, called you ignorant, said you’d have to pay for everything. I interjected, saying that I was the one who bumped into you, knocking you into the display. They said they would have “none of it”, citing that the customer is always their top priority. You were whisked away by the management, shoes left in the aisle, perfume everywhere, and my blender in ruins.
It’s months later and I finally got my new blender. I never saw you again, though. I never forgot about you and the events that took place.
A month further on, I met another woman in a dimly lit club. We hit it off, talking endlessly about nothing, buying each other drinks, flirting up a storm. There was something familiar about her, but I couldn’t put my finger on it. It wasn’t her looks or her personality. I had to break it off with her; whatever it was about her that was so familiar was making me sad. A week later, as I was trying to figure it out in my head, it finally hit me. It was her perfume: Halston.
Friday on My Mind
Rating: NC-17
“What are you doing Friday night?” Nick asked Nicole over breakfast. She ate another spoon of corn flakes and wiped her mouth.
“Nothing, why?”
“Oh, well, my parents are coming to visit me, and I was thinking that you could meet them. I mean, we have been going out for quite a while now.” Nicole looked around shyly, put down her napkin, and put her hand on his.
“Nick, I would love,” she squeezed his hand, “to meet your parents.” They smiled at each other and kissed.
“Now, I need to go get ready for work.” She got up from the table and brought her dishes to the sink. Nick watched her move gracefully in her white linen robe, outlining her every curve. He couldn’t lie to himself; her every move turned him on. If she wasn’t due for work in forty-five minutes, he would have thrown her over his shoulder and carried her back to the throes of passion; where exactly he carried her to would depend on how far his back would allow him. He wasn’t picky, anywhere would have been fine.
He got up to put his dishes in the sink, walked past the calendar and did a double-take. Today was a bank holiday; Nicole didn’t have to work. He smiled evilly and walked to the bedroom. She had her back to him, naked, and she was fishing through the closet trying to find something to wear. He crept up behind her, and put his arms around her and started kissing her neck. She was startled, but quickly found out what was going on.
“Hey, I have to go to work,” she said between giggles.
“No you don’t,” he said between kisses, “it’s a bank holiday.”
“So it is,” she said and turned around to face Nick. He smiled and kissed her passionately on the lips. She undid the tie on his bath robe and it slid off his slender, drummer shoulders. The two of them stood there, naked, making it clear to second base. He finally couldn’t take it any more, and he picked her up and placed her on the bed. They slid under the covers and he continued kissing her. His hands slid up and down her naked body, finally resting on her hip. She whispered his name, and he took it as a cue to slip inside her.
Meanwhile, Nick’s parents are busy knocking on his door.
“Maybe he has a key under the mat,” his mother said.
“He’s not that stupid,” his father said and she bent down to look under the mattress. After fishing around for a few seconds, her hand came out holding a key.
“Well, he’s still not stupid,” his father said worriedly. She took the key and put it in the door.
“Hello?” she called to no response.
“Are you sure you told him we had to come today and not Friday?” his father asked as they walked through the kitchen.
“Yeah, I did. Well, I think so,” his mother said unsurely. They continued to walk through the house looking for their son.
“Nick? Are you home?” he asked but only heard a rhythmic thumping noise in response. They followed the noise, thinking maybe he was hammering something that needed repair in the house. They reached his bedroom door where the noise was coming from. Without a thought to the wrong side, his father opened the door. Right in front of his parents was Nick, under his covers, with his girlfriend, getting his rocks off. They turned to see the older couple standing in the door, mouths agape, watching everything before their eyes. Nick quickly covered their heads with the remainder of the blanket, pulled out even quicker, and poked his head out of the blanket.
“Why are you here?” he asked inquisitively.
“Your mother forgot to tell you that we were coming today, not Friday,” his father said.
“Oh,” Nick said and looked around. “Can you give us a minute? We’ll meet you in the kitchen.”
“Sure thing,” his mother said and they turned and walked out.
“That was…embarrassing,” Nicole said once Nick rolled off her.
“That’s one way to put it,” he said and got out of bed. Nicole followed suit and they both got dressed. When they got into the kitchen, however, his parents were nowhere to be found. Instead, on the table, was a note. Nick read it aloud:
“Dear Nick,
Sorry we walked in on you today. I’m sure it was as embarrassing for you as it was for us. We decided we’d come back Friday like originally planned. Sorry for the inconvenience.
Love,
Mom and Dad
Ps: Your key from under the mat is on the table. Try picking a better hiding spot next time.”
Nick shook his head and put down the letter. “Man, my parents are soooo weird.”
The Lucky Shirt
Rating: PG for language.
“That shirt is SO ugly,” Ricky said as Nick walked out of his dressing room.
“What? Are you serious? I love this shirt!” Nick looked down at his orange polo shirt and smoothed it out with his hands.
“Yeah, but it’s ORANGE. Nothing rhymes with it for a reason.”
“Well, I don’t care what you think of it, it’s a good shirt, and I like it. And you know what else?” Nick said poking Ricky in the chest. “it’s my new lucky shirt too.” Ricky looked at him in disbelief.
“You can’t just decide that a shirt is lucky! It has to fall into your hands by fate. Like, karma or something. I don’t know, one of my old boho girlfriends told me about it.”
“You mean Sharon?”
“No, Moon River.”
“Oh right, I shoulda known. Plus, Sharon wasn’t boho, she was just plain ho.”
“Hey! Don’t say that about her!” Ricky said and went to punch Nick in the arm. Nick moved just the right amount back that Ricky missed and hit the incoming Peanut in the stomach.
“Hey man! What did I ever do to you?” he said rubbing his abdomen.
“Sorry, that was intended for Nick.” Ricky said patting Peanut on the shoulder.
“Hey, maybe this is a lucky shirt!” Nick said looking down at it.
“I said you can’t just deem a shirt lucky, it has to just happen.” Ricky said throwing his hands in the air.
“You know what, let’s make a bet. We’ll go out and test my luck. If I get lucky all day, then you have to buy me lunch tomorrow. If it’s unlucky, or nothing amazing happens, then I will throw out the shirt and buy you lunch.” Ricky nodded and they went out for the day, leaving poor Peanut in the hallway holding his stomach.
“You punch too hard Ricky!” he shouted before walking across the hall back into his dressing room.
-------
“Ok, test number one, scratch ticket.” Ricky said and they walked up to a little news stand on the street. “One cherry bomb, and one Bingo please,” he said and the man handed over two tickets. Ricky paid and Nick took a coin from his pocket. The two of them went to the side of the stand as Nick scratched off the appropriate squares. Not only did he win on both of them, but it was a large win. The cherry bomb yielded £50 and the Bingo paid off £100.
“See? This is my lucky shirt!” he said and pulled the fabric over his chest bone up to his face and kissed it.
“Well, this is a game of chance! Anyone could win!” Ricky said folding his arms.
“Oh come on, you can have £25 if you really want, since you bought them.”
“Oh, you don’t have to…well, ok if you insist,” he said and took the tickets up to the man. They collected their money and went on in search of their next test.
-------
“Two chili dogs,” Nick said to the man in the street cart. They stopped to get something to eat; looking for luck was a tiring task.
“There you go,” the man said and Nick paid with his new winnings.
“Thanks squire,” Nick said.
“Oh, be careful. It’s a fresh batch and could easily slop all over you,” the man said and, right on cue, Ricky’s chili dog dribbled out of its bun all over his shoe and lower pant leg.
“Damn!” he said and reached for the napkins. Nick bent down to help clean him off. When he stood back up, he noticed that not a drop of his chili dog had left its confinement.
“Wouldja look at that, not a drop,” Nick said and grinned.
“That’s lucky,” said the man at the cart.
“Yes, I’ve noticed that I’ve been quite lucky today. I think it could be my lucky shirt,” Nick said and looked right at Ricky.
“Well, that sure is some kind of shirt,” the cart man said and gave it a weird look. Nick gave him an equally weird look and they continued walking.
-------
“Hey, look a £5 note! It must be my lu–”
“Don’t even say it…” Ricky commanded Nick as he bent down to pick up the stray bill. Nick could only smile in response.
-------
“I’m telling you, this shirt is lucky,” Nick said as they were walking down a side street.
“YOU CANT JUST DEEM A SHIRT LUCKY!!!” Ricky exclaimed and threw his hands in the air.
“Hey, if it’s bugging you that much then let’s just go back and forget all about it.”
“No, really, it’s ok. I’m sorry, I just got a little carried awa –” Ricky was cut off by a slamming sound behind them. They turned around to see a TV laying in ruins on the ground, followed shortly by a VCR. They looked up to a third-story window to find a woman yelling frantically and throwing things out the window.
“I hate you so much!” she said and threw out a pile of clothes. A pair of boxers landed on Ricky’s head and he quickly pulled them off.
“Oh dear, I’m SO sorry!” she yelled down to them. “I didn’t think anyone would be walking by! You didn’t get hit with anything did you?” she asked.
“No, luckily not.” Ricky said.
“I wasn’t talking to you, I was asking your cute friend.” Nick blushed.
“Oh, yeah I’m fine,” he said and scratched his head shyly.
“Good.” She waved him the “call me” sign and went back inside.
“That damn shirt…” Ricky started to say.
“Totally saved your ass.” Nick finished and they laughed.
“Come on, let’s go back,” Ricky said as they headed back down the street.
“Hey Ricky?”
“Yeah Nick?”
“There was a £20 note in one of those jeans.”
“Did you take it?”
“Do Australians snog sheep?”
“Damn shirt…”
-------
“Mmm, this soup is DELICIOUS!” Nick said digging into a bowl of clam chowder. “And it tastes even better when it’s free.” He smiled across the table at Ricky.
“Hahaha, you are soooo funny.”
“Hey, you admitted that it was a lucky shirt, which means that you lost the bet and bought us lunch.” He smiled and took another bite of soup. “Hey, you know, we could settle this like Seinfeld with me saying that a soup doesn’t really count as a meal, and we’ll have to do this all over again.” They laughed.
“You wouldn’t do that though, would you?”
“No, I wouldn’t. it would be funny though.”
“Yeah it would. Well, I guess this only leaves me with one question for you.”
“Shoot.”
“Do you feel lucky? Punk?” Nick laughed and went for another bite. However, the spoonful of soup didn’t quite reach his mouth. Instead, it landed with a deafening “plop” into his lap.
“I guess that would be a no,” Nick said and wiped the soup off his lap.
