Comparisons

Rating: PG-13
Author's Note: This was sparked from an actual argument Kelsi and I had/have.


Kelsi sighed as Mary passed over yet another one of Andy’s photos. He just had them developed, and Mary went to pick them up for him; this granted her and Kelsi, Stewart’s girlfriend, a sneak peek at them.
“I could die every time I see those lips,” Kelsi said, gazing adoringly at a picture of Stewart.
“I must admit,” Mary responded, “they are quite something.”
“Yeah, they are something, or other,” Kelsi said and the two girls started laughing.
“Oh dear, we are funny,” Mary said. “Why can’t we ever be this funny when we’re around the guys?”
“Because,” Kelsi said as she glanced over, then put aside, another picture of a tree, “we’re usually too engrossed in the boys to say anything funny. Our brains turn to mush around them, remember?”
“Yes, yes I do,” Mary sighed as she passed along a self-portrait he took, obviously in the bathroom mirror of their apartment. Kelsi laughed and took it from her.
“What colour are Andy’s eyes?” she asked and tried to make out something in the black and white photo.
“They’re a beautiful shade of blueish green.”
“Green like Stewart’s or green like a teal-ish?”
“Well,” Mary said as she quickly hid a photo of her, “since Stewart’s aren’t green, they wouldn’t be like his.” Kelsi looked at her like she had a Cacti growing out of her ear.
“What do you mean they’re not green? Of course they’re green.” Kelsi said and Mary passed another photo of Stewart over to her.
“Look,” she said, “they are obviously brown.”
“This is black and white, dumbass.” Kelsi said and fluttered the photo in front of her face. “they could be pink and you wouldn’t be able to tell.”
“Yes you would.”
“How?”
“Take David Bowie, for example – ”
“Must I?” Kelsi groaned.
“Yes. Anyway, when one sees a black and white photo of him, one can tell which eye is brown, and which isn’t.” she folded her arms defiantly.
“Of course you can, ‘cause the other one is almost white!” she exclaimed.
“Well, I still say he has brown eyes.” Mary said, not wanting to admit defeat.
“Look,” Kelsi said turning to face Mary, “I think I should know. I have gotten closer to those eyes than you have. A LOT closer.” She grinned at the thoughts running through her mind.
“Well…” Mary was trying to come up with something that she would be right at. “At least Andy has a normal sized head.” Kelsi tured around quickly and her mouth was agape.
“At least Stewart is of normal human height!”
“Andy is NOT as short as you make him out to be,” I said, wiggling my finger at her.
“He’s shorter than me,”
“Like hell he is!”
“He is, I remember,” she said defiantly. Mary deceided that she would never win, it would just turn into a “yes” “no” argument.
“At least Andy doesn’t run arund in short shorts!” Mary said.
“You know you like that.”
“Yeah, maybe I do…hey!” Mary said frowning. Kelsi laughed at her apparent lead.
“At least…err…Andy can dance!”
“ooh, that hurt,” Kelsi said, thinkning hard. “At least Stewart can write songs.”
“That’s bullshit!”
“No it’s not.”
“Andy writes wonderful songs!”
“About murder.”
“Well at least his make senese!”
“What are you going on about?”
“What the hell is ‘On Any Other Day’ about?”
“Umm…it’s his birthday,” Kelsi said. Mary put on a fade of enlightenment, just as Sting, Andy and Stewart all walked through the door. Mary and Kelsi called out urgently to the other’s boyfriend. Stewart walked over to Mary, and Andy to Kelsi.
“Come here, you,” Mary said as she grabbed Stewart by the collar. She pulled his face down to hers. He looked a combination of scared and intrigued as she looked right into his eyes. She frowned when she saw that they were, indeed, green – not brown.
“Damn.” She said, and saw that Kelsi was trying to get Andy to stand back to back with her. When she finally did, she found that she was the sorter of the two.
“Damn,” she said and walked away. Mary looked forward to find that she was still holding onto Stewart’s collar.
“Oh, sorry,” she said and let him go.
“Would you ladies care to explain what just happened?” Stewart asked. They looked at each other, then back to him.
“No,” they said simultaneously, laughing. Stewart and Andy just shrugged and walked away.
“So, they’re green. You were right,” Mary said to Kelsi. She grinned smugly.
“Yeah, and you were right. Andy is taller than me.” The two sat in silence for a minute.
“You know what I noticed,” Mary said, “that close to Stewart’s face?”
“What?”
“Those lips are indeed something, or other.” The two girls laughed heartily as the boys watched from behind the kitchen door.
“There is something seriously off with those girls,” Sting said.
“Yeah, well at least our girlfriends laugh,” Stewart said.
“At least mine can sew.”
“Mary can sew!” Andy said defensively.
“Yeah, remember what happened to those pants she hemmed for me?”
“You did the fucking splits in them!”
“Yeah, well,” Sting fumbled, “Oh fuck it, I’m making a sandwich.”